Blame it on Granny

My grandmother (dad’s side) has had the same glass bottle of circa 1970’s Maybelline roller-ball lip gloss prominently displayed on her bathroom shelf for at least the last 30 years. As a wee one, I remember summers at her house, just gazing up at this mystical vessel in wonder. In awe of its magnificence. Though every fiber of my being wanted to touch it, to adore it, to anoint my parched lips with its silky essence … I never dared. I was never told to stay away, but somehow I instinctively knew of its importance. Well … given that the same vial now resides on that same shelf, (seemingly never even been used) it bears a greatly different significance than I had intuited all those years ago. It is not some sacred beauty elixir, waiting for a special moment, but merely a symbol of the shameful disease running rampant throughout our family. Apparently, this beauty-hoarding is genetic. A couple of weeks ago I sat on the pot, looking around my grandma’s lair, and realized that she has 10 times the hardly-ever-to-practically-never used vanity products as I. The only difference is that hers date back to 1930. What’s more, having just returned from a visit to my mother’s princess palace, I realized that my affliction was handed down to me from both sides of the family. A double whammy! Yes, my mother has more un-to-slightly used beauty concoctions than (possibly) even my grandmother. Yet, on any given trip to any given beauty boutique, she still seems to be on a quest for some other coveted and truly “needed” unction. What can I say?  I guess it's in the blood. …Oh yeah, I’m screwed.

*Product Review: Witch Hazel

A nod to the simpler days of Grandma’s yesteryear, let’s talk Witch Hazel. You can find it at any drug or grocery store, and this multi-tasker never costs more that $6 for a 16oz bottle. ($3.49 at Rite-Aid or Drugstore.com.  Even less at Target.) What’s not to like? It’s natural, it’s timeless, it’s unpretentious. With all the fancy-schmancy skincare goodies I use on a regular basis, this is what I use everyday, twice-a-day, as a toner. Pretty anticlimactic, huh? See, I really am a simple girl. Trust me, you don’t need anything more to tone that pretty little face of yours. Save your money for the fun stuff. For its affordability, practicality, availability, and countless other -ilities … 4½ Stars

Plastic on the Furniture

Why do we never use the things we like most?  It’s like that fine china waiting for a non-existent dinner guest or the plastic-covered couch that no one is ever special enough to sit upon.  I find myself rationing my favorite products … for what?  For fear that I won’t be able to replace them when gone?  Because the occasion simply isn’t special enough to warrant use of such precious elixir?  Wouldn’t it be best to use the things that make you the happiest the most? Riddle me this.

*Product Review:  Dylan’s Candy Bar Strawberry Licorice Candy Butter Cream

I’ve used this product in the past and really enjoyed it.  Upon finishing, I undoubtedly became distracted by some other shhhwanky new product and didn’t look back.  Well, when I noticed that Sephora was phasing out the Dylan’s Candy Bar line, and offering their products at 50% off, it brought back memories.  I had to jump at the fortuity.  I picked up this sweet little dream for $11 (regularly $22) per 8 oz.  (It looks like Amazon.com even has it for $8.99!  Link below.)  Honestly, now that I think about it, I’m sure I stopped using it because $22 wasn’t something I was willing to continue to pay – craziness -- but $11 seemed fair.  (I also got the Cake Batter version and struggled with the urge to purchase the chocolate and coconut ones as well. I held strong.)  The title does not deceive. It smells just as you would expect, so if you don’t wanna smell like sugary sweet strawberry candy, this is not for you.  Fortunately for me … I do! It’s got a consistency that makes you feel like you’re slathering sinfully decadent buttercream frosting all over your heavenly bod.  I wanna lick it! My recent HSN purchase of the no-less-than-amazing Perlier Raspberry Strawberry Body Spray created a "need" for a complementary body butter.  When I saw this one, I thought it’d make the perfect pair and … oh, it does. Dreamy.  (By the way, I’d a told you about the uber-fantastic body spray, but it’s one of those clearance items that’s no longer available.  Sucks for you.)  Anyway, this fun little cream creates a nice foundation for my new “spray from the gods”.  And because (you are well aware) I have to layer my scents, I went searching for a hand cream that would complete the mirepoix and settled upon Cake Beauty’s Milk Made Velveteen Hand Cream.  It’s a subtly warm vanilla/raspberry fragrance.  Perfect.  So, I’m happy.  Even though the chance to acquire more of this lovely butter after I’ve finished every last drop may not exist (given its clearance condition), I refuse to hold back.  I vow to apply as often as desired, with wild abandon, and deny any misplaced feelings of overindulgence.  There may never be another opportunity to do what I might have done today, so … I shall take my chances.  See, sometimes beauty isn’t simply superficial.  This thick, rich, delight was just the treat I was looking for, and a precious reminder to enjoy what I have to its fullest … 4 Stars. 

Dylan's Candy Bar Strawberry Licorice Candy Butter Cream 8 oz Candy Butter Cream
Cake Beauty Milk Made Hand Creme 3.4 oz Milk Made Hand Creme

Me, Myself, and I

I’ve always wondered whether there was anyone out there like me. Anywhere. … Anyone??

*Product Review: MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Microfinish Powder

Alright, so I am FAR too lazy to worry about applying foundation everyday. I also think that the darker you are, the more difficult to find a product that ends up looking natural. If you do manage to find this elusive prize, it rubs off on anything you put your pretty little face up against … like YOUR CLOTHES. Eeeww. I do, however, want to look polished, matte, and refined. Enter the powder. But then there’s the whole silica/mica issue. I prefer a powder to a foundation because I wanna look more natural. Though it is true that I have a glowing personality, no one would believe that all the sparkle and twinkle left by the silica and/or mica is just my natural radiance showing through. Furthermore, oftentimes it just ends up making me look oily anyway. And, again, if I were to use a colored powder, I’d still have the whole transfer problem. Enter the translucent powder. Well, most “colorless” powders aren’t really that. They come white, in the container, with the promise of translucency once applied. This promise is a false one, unless you happen to be Snow White’s long-lost Scandinavian cousin. …Usually. Well, I have tried many a “translucent” powder and have finally come up with one that holds true to its promise. MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Microfinish Powder really does seem to disappear on the skin (even on darker skin tones). (Now, it’s not magic. If you go crazy with it, I’m sure it too will leave you pasty looking, but...) It’s not too sparkly, and leaves me with a nice matte (but not dull), finished look. Much more refined than bare skin, but not overdone and make-up-y looking. Know what I mean? It’s even talc-free, if you care about such things. I much prefer this to Bare Minerals’ Mineral Veil, which doesn’t leave me with a matte finish at all. I do find it to be pricey ($30 for .35 oz.), which is why it took me a long time to actually commit to buying it, but I happened upon a $15/.17 oz. trial-sized version at Sephora. I was willing to take a chance for $15. I’m glad I did. Now it’s the powder I reach for almost everyday. I even use it onstage. It’s definitely worth a try … 4 Stars.

MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Microfinish Powder To Go 0.17 oz

Avid Avarice

I have come to learn that greed is never rewarded. Somehow, the universe always bitch-slaps you for it in the end.

* Here’s a Tip: 3-Step Clearance Stalking

It’s funny, there have been several products about which I’ve gotten really excited and wanted to tell you. However, because I’m a total cheap-ass, I usually wait until something I like (but totally don’t need) goes on clearance before I purchase it. That’s great for me, but not for you. By the time I commit to buying it, receive it, and use it long enough to deem it worthy of my esteemed praise, it’s no longer available for you to acquire. What’s the point of getting you all excited about a fun new this-or-that you won’t be able to buy? That’s just cruel. So I decided I’d share my cheap-shopping tip. I suppose you can do this at most retail sites, but I do this mainly at the Home Shopping Network …

1) When I find a product that appeals to me, I place it on my “wish-list”. I watch, continuously and neurotically, for the price to drop. (Beware: this takes an extreme amount of patience and restraint – two things I am sorely lacking. Many times I fail.) Now, don’t be fooled by a “sale” price-drop. I’m talkin’ clearance.
2) Once it goes to a clearance mark-down, I put it in my “shopping bag”. By doing this, I am notified when the quantity becomes very limited. On the HSN “shopping bag” page, they put up a counter that shows you exactly how many items are left (once it gets to about 20 or so).
3) At this point, I check even more frequently and neurotically to see if the price will drop yet again. That’s when you really know you’re taking your chances. You can give in and buy it at the reduced price before it sells out completely (knowing that you can get a price-adjustment if the price falls again within 30 days), or you can play a little game with yourself and see how far you can go before you lose the chance altogether. If it sells out before you seize your opportunity, it wasn’t meant to be.

I find this technique to be particularly rewarding with Theme clothing and Rhonda Shear lingerie. I hardly ever buy from these brands at full price. Many times it works well with Perlier-Italian Beauty too. It does depend on your size and preferences, though. Extra sizes (XS, XL, 2X, etc.) with unusual taste often have the best luck. (Finally I am rewarded for being abnormal and extreme.) Look, I simply can’t handle clearance (or even regular) sales at brick-and-mortar retailers, so this is my attempt at frugality (along with my incessant use of coupons). The moral of the story: If there’s something you want, but that really isn’t important enough to spend the money on, keep an eye on it for a couple a months. If you can get it on clearance, it’s soooo much more enjoyable … and totally guilt-free! I guess it’s kind of my silly little way of making cost-cutting and living on a budget more fun. … I’m kinda crazy, huh? Window to the soul, people. Window to the soul.