You Don't LOOK Sick

If I only had a nickel for every time someone's told me that.  I once had a hospital stay for some crazy killer stomach virus thingy, and the doctor actually wrote on my chart, "Patient was able to apply eyeliner, so it's clearly not that serious."  I mean, what?  Just because I don't totally succumb to the dreary effects of my malady means I'm not legitimately ill?  Yeah, I stood there in front of my bathroom mirror (weak, trembling, and periodically vomiting) and powered through 'til I looked like a cracked-out drag queen hooker, but by golly ... I had my face on!  I refuse to give in completely to any illness.  If I can still raise my hand to my eye, G** dammit, I'm gonna line it!  I don't care if it means that doctors don't take me seriously and loved ones show no sympathy.  Why should I submit to looking as bad as I feel?  Strep throat, hemorrhage, pancreatitis, or surgery beware:  you may take my spirit but you can't have my vanity!  ... Childbirth, however ... ah, hell!  You win.

*Product Review:   Albolene Moisturizing Cleanser

Well, despite my effort, my best displays of make-up application aptitude do not come when I am sick.  I quite often end up looking like an overdone Tammy Faye.  That's where this product comes in.  This puppy will remove whatever the heck you can throw at it.  Nothing can stand up to it.  It's heavy, greasy, slimy, thick, and ... powerful.  It's basically glorified Vaseline.  I'm talkin' old school.  It's the stuff your grandma swore by.  You can find it amongst all the other overlooked products on the bottom shelf of any drugstore skincare aisle.  It comes in a massive 12 oz. no frills jar, and will run you around $11.  If you have waterproof mascaras, lip stain, or cheek paint that won't budge, slap some of this salve on you face and POOF!  It's history.  Now, this is not for everyday usage, it's a bit much for that.  And if you have very oily or acneic skin, you probably won't like it.  But, on those occasions when you're looking to undo your indelible facade ... Albolene's your best friend ... 4 Stars.

Albolene Cleansing Concentrate Albolene Moisturizing Cleanser, Unscented 12 oz (340 g)

A Killer Wardrobe

I am horrified.  As I combed through my closet, hoping to purge myself of the painfully old and unused items impeding the addition of my newest duds, I was taken aback with shock and awe.  Lurking about my fabulous frocks were many items (and I mean quite a few) that were not only hideous, but looked AWFUL on me.  Seriously, I looked like a 400 pound rhinoceros in homeless shelter hand-me-downs!  And these are not just things that I bought and never wore, either.  These are things that I swore made me look fantastic, and I wore ALL the time.  Like ALL THE TIME!  I could die.  How could this be?  How could my judgement have been so impaired?  Has this happened to anyone else or am I a total fashion victim here?  I mean, I've never been up on the latest and greatest -- no matter how hip and trendy I try to be, I still end up looking like I just tripped out of an Ann Taylor clearance sale -- but I thought I at least looked put-together and my clothes flattered my figure.  How could I have pranced about looking so horrendous without my closest family and friends notifying me of my great missteps?  I'm frightened.  With clearly no one around to tell me the God's-honest truth, what if the finery I think is delicious today really looks just as assy on me?  What if I have absolutely no fashion skills?  What if ... ah, hell.  I give up.

*Product Review:  Carol's Daughter Sugar Vanilla Bath &
                            Body Collection

I'm clearly in no place to be advising you on fashion right now, so I'll stick to bath and body.  I ordered this kit, which contains the 8 oz. Body Cream, 8 oz. Shower Gel, 4 oz. All Over Sheen, and Shower Poof, from HSN.  I got it on autoship, as a Today's Special, for $36.90, but now it's $47.90.  I'm generally not a fan of Carol's Daughter, as her scents have a powdery undertone that I don't appreciate.  Initially, I was disappointed with this product, even though I detected none of her usual powderiness.  When I envisioned Sugar-Dipped Vanilla, I imagined something more edible.  This is not very vanillay, and too perfumy to be edible.  However, the more I wear it, the more it grows on me.  It has a sweet, cotton-candy undertone to it, without being young-girl sweet.  I guess it has a certain sophistication.  Though it is more perfumy than I had wanted, it isn't so much so that it gives me a perfume headache.  I'm very sensitive to that.  I'd say it is very similar to Aquolina's Pink Sugar fragrance.  If you like that, you'll enjoy this.  Though I'm kinda over the Pink Sugar thing, I'm really diggin' the Sugar-Dipped Vanilla.  Her creams do moisturize well and this is no different.  The cream is very emollient (without being greasy), the shower gel lathers up and smells consistent, and the dry oil spray adds a subtle sheen and fragrance to my hair.  Yeah, I don't do the whole oil on my skin thing.  It's too messy and awkward, but I bought it with my hair in mind, and it's working well for that.  I bought the accompanying Eau de Toilette roller ball, and I like it, but all-in-all this fragrance does not last long.  That's so atypical with Carol's Daughter.  I once applied her Groove body cream and, not only did I still smell like it the next morning, my CLOTHES smelled like it 2 weeks later.  Now that's staying power!  There's nothing more frustrating than a great scent that disappears before anyone else can appreciate it, so it definitely looses points for that.  BUT, for a sophisticated sweet and mucho moisturization ...
4 Stars.

Carol-s Daughter Sugar-Dipped Vanilla Bath and Body Collection

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Have you ever noticed how much better you look when your hair looks fabulous?  It’s like you don’t even need make-up when your fro looks fierce.  If you hair looks assy, you can pile on the paint all you want, but you just won’t achieve the same results.  Why is that?  I mean, do you have any idea how much money I could save, in cosmetic expenditure, if I could just master the art of consistent follicular fabulosity?

*Product Review:  Becca Beach Tint
                           Water-Resistant Colour for Cheeks and Lips

Well, on those days when my do just don’t, I can’t live without this blush.  It just seems to brighten and gussy up my face better than anything else.  I use it nearly EVERY day.  Initially I found it at Sephora, but they stopped carrying it, so I get it straight from the source now:  BeccaCosmetics.com.  You can pick it up for $25 for 0.24 fl. oz., and the shipping is way reasonable.  Don’t worry, that doesn’t seem like a lotta product, but a little goes a long way.  It’s a sort of a cream-stain, so once you apply it, it lasts and lasts.  For that reason, I use it as a base coat and go from there.  This rouge is totally buildable, and some days it’s enough on it’s own. Others, I top it off with a little Bare Minerals powder blush in “I’m Amused Rouge”. It sets the look and I’m good all day.  When I first discovered this product, I used it in Watermelon.  It’s a lovely, natural dusty rose.  I still like it, for a more neutral look, but have since discovered the Raspberry shade.  It’s a deeper, bolder plum/berry shade that is a bit more versatile for me.  If you’re melanin-impaired, you’ll likely be content with the Watermelon.   I love the fact that it contains absolutely no shimmer, so it’s easy to go light and achieve a very natural look, or build it up and go for bold.  Unlike other stain-type blushes, it leaves a matte (not dewy) finish.  (If you’re a dewy kinda dame, you won’t be impressed.)  Also unlike most stains, it gives you more than 2.5 seconds to blend before it sets indelibly.  Furthermore, I seem to always be in a hurry and absolutely adore anything multi-tasking.  This super-goo is water-resistant, and serves as you lip and eye color as well.  Hellooooo!  Truthfully, I don’t use it for my lips, ‘cuz I’m so in love with my CoverGirl Lip Stain (in Sassy Mauve), but you could.  It’s a vacation must-have.  Swore by it in Florida.  Here’s the kicker, though:  you know I’m obsessed with all things food-scented, and this doesn’t disappoint.  Heck, why not have your blush smell good too?  The Watermelon shade smells like … well, watermelon, Fig smells like fig, and the Raspberry … you get the idea.  How fantastic is that?!  OK, the fragrance serves no real purpose, but it pleases me.  What can I say?  For a sweet-scented, versatile, everyday staple … 4½ Stars.

Becca Cosmetics Beach Tint 0.24 fl oz.

Beach Tint