Gimme Gimme

I have a serious problem. (Like you didn’t already know that.)  I don’t know what it is with me, but if I find something I like, I instantly set out on a mission to acquire as much more of that fabulous thing as I can.  Why can’t I simply appreciate the great new goodie I’ve got?  Why must I constantly subscribe to the ridiculous theory that if one of something is good, more must be better?  For instance, if I find a pair of fab-fitting jeans or pants on clearance, I can’t just be satisfied with my sexy new duds.  Oh no, I must call every store and visit their website until I’ve found each and every last wash and color they made.  I can’t rest until I’ve made at least 5 sales people check no fewer that 10 stores for the stupid pair of pants they don’t even make anymore. Or, if I order a new body butter and fall in love, I’ve gotta get right back on that website and stock up on, not only THAT fragrance, but every accompanying product and scent variation.  I mean, the product is barely 3 minutes out of the box and I’m looking for more!  Undoubtedly, I end up using the item for awhile and find that I really didn’t need 12 jars of discontinued banana/oatmeal/fig/cranberry Sensuous Christmas Body Frosting.  Eee gads, I’m a spaz case.  Do you think I might be obsessive compulsive?  Ah, well.  Better to get it out on clothes and beauty products than men, right?

*Product Review:  Stila Convertible Color

Truly, I have had this product so long that I can’t even read the color on the bottom of the container.  I’m pretty sure it’s the Rose shade.  I bought it as part of a set at Sephora several years back.  On it's own, it'll run you $25 for .15oz.  I tell you, it is the most fantastic thing.  The “convertible” label refers to the fact that it is meant to be used on the cheeks AND lips. (Heck, I even use it on my eyelids.)  I don’t start the day off wearing it (I prefer a stain topped with a powder for my morning rougeification), but there is nothing better for on-the-go touch-ups.  You just pop it in your purse and you’ve always got a handy, simple, mess-free way to pump up or reboot your look.  Stains can make a mess all over your designer handbag, and are difficult to apply in the wild.  This is an easy, one-stop-shop for blush and lip color.  No need to carry a lipstick tube (the cap of which is sure to dislodge and crapify the inside of your handbag), a blush compact (which undoubtedly falls and cracks into a million powdery pieces), AND a brush.  Not only is it a time-saver, it’s a space-saver. I simply LOVE double duty products.  The color is perfectly bumped-up-natural for my medium-dark skin: a deep winey-berry.  It’s creamy, but not greasy, and smoothes on and blends like a dream.  You have the flexibility to go as sheer or intense as you please.  It has just enough creaminess so that your lips don’t feel dry, but not enough to turn your cheeks into an oil slick.  They have a variety of shades at Sephora, but you can check out all the ones they make at StilaCosmetics.com. Whatever your tone, I assure you there’s a shade for you.  Amazingly enough, once I found my color, I never wanted for another.  (That says a lot for me.)  For whatever reason, I only really use it while I’m out and about, but for that it is a God-send … 5 Stars.

Here Today, Still Here Tomorrow

I love to ask questions. I’ve always had a fascination with what makes people tick, and whether or not they think about the same things I do. (Clearly, no one does, but whatever.) I guess that’s why I got my degree in philosophy. So here’s my question of the day ...

If you could make a deal (sans devil) to forever stay at your current weight, would you take that opportunity?  You could eat whatever you wanted and never gain a single ounce.  Of course, you could diet to kingdom come and never lose one either.  Hope you liked what the scale said this morning 'cuz, with the exception of injury or illness, your weight would never fluctuate.  Would you make that deal?

OK, I really wanna know.  So, if you’re reading this, you MUST answer.  I’ll know if you don’t.  I have ways. ;-)

*Product Review:  Pacifica Indian Coconut Nectar Perfume

Moving on ... I tried this perfume in the Sephora and was taken by the islandly, tropical vanilla-coconuty goodness of it.  However, when I layered on the body butter, I thought it great in the tube, but a little reminiscent of Play-Dough on the skin.  As a result, I decided not to purchase and went on my merry way to the next store on my shopping journey of self-discovery.  Not 5 minutes later, some young man was telling me how wonderful I smelled.  I rethought my initial hesitation.  I purchased the 1.2 oz. Spray Perfume ($22) and .33 oz Roll-On ($12) online.  In love I fell.  When paired with my overpriced, bought-in-the-middle-of-a-career-crisis Pure Fiji Coconut Body Butter, they meld perfectly.  The fragrance is definitely sweet, definitely desserty, and a very vanilla with a splash of coconut. Not overly coconuty, just the right amount.  The description says it also contains a creamy Vetiver, but since I have no idea what the heck that is, I’ll have to take their word for it.  Additionally, they go on to mention that it is exotic and floral.  I may give them the exotic part, but I detect absolutely no hint of floral, which to me is a definite plus.  At any rate, the spray is delightful and lasts a couple hours or so.  The roll-on doesn’t last nearly as long, but it gains points for easy transportability, giving me the opportunity to touch-up my scent throughout the day.  I did cave and buy the $5 (3 oz.) Body Butter in the store.  I still think it smells a little like children’s malleable play stuff, but it works well as a hand cream.  It’s funny, though I’m enjoying this line, it’s not my absolute favorite fragrance.  But, EVERY time I wear it I get compliments, mostly from men.  Maybe it makes them visualize you lying on a tropical beach, with nothing but your string bikini and this perfume between your smooth, round flesh and the warm, white sand. Hey the product description did say it's a “warm and sultry blend”.  I guess it’s an imagery instigator.  Forget the genie, I'll take the bikini-in-a-bottle any day.  For all the benefits of skimpy swimwear, without actually having to cram your big butt into it … 4 ½ Stars.

Pacifica Indian Coconut Nectar Perfume Roll-On 0.33 oz Indian Coconut Nectar Perfume Roll-On

Pacifica Indian Coconut Nectar Body Butter To Go 3 oz Indian Coconut Nectar Body Butter Lotion

Pure Fiji Spa Pure Fiji Body Butter - Coconut (8 oz)

Gift Horses, Mouths, and All That Crap

Know what I hate?  Closed-minded gift getters.  You give something you enjoy to someone who you know doesn’t usually use those types of things, but you wanna share something really wonderful with them.  When they open it up, do you see gratitude or interest?  NO!  You can tell that, within the first 2.5 seconds, they have already made their mind up to never even open the damn thing.  May I implore you, especially around the holidays, to be a little adventurous?  Don't be so stuck in your "but I already have a favorite product" ways.  Be open to trying new things.  What, like you paid for it?  Yes, Christmas is about getting those fun little do-dads you’ve been wanting forever, but it’s also about the spirit in which it was intended.  It’s only natural for people to want to share the things that bring them great pleasure (or just interest them) in the hopes that it will bring you that same joy.  OR, they may have seen a need or compliment that you didn’t even realize.  For instance, my girlfriend, noticing that I rarely set foot outside the house without eye liner, bought me this cool assortment pack of multi-colored Urban Decay eyeliners for Christmas.  Now, being one who spends 90% of my life in the same conservatively boring (yet safe) shade of black-brown (only to be displaced by the oh-so-adventurous BLACK the other 10%), I wasn’t sure I was gonna go for the glittery olive green and sparkly sapphire blue.  BUT … did I regift?  Did I shelve?  NO!  I thought of the spirit in which it was intended and decided to experiment a little, to break out of my comfort zone.  Guess what?  I think they’re really groovy.  I NEVER would have picked out such bold and fun colors for myself (though I would have for others), but she saw something about me that even I had failed to.  In fact, I thought they were so neat, I shared a couple with my baby sister.  (She knows how to glamorize.)  Now, I can’t say that they’ve replaced my classic black-brown for everyday wear, but I have such a blast jazzing it up every now and then.  I look and feel fabulous in a whole new way.  The different shades even give me distinctly sassy little attitudes.  The moral of the story:  Use every unexpected opportunity to step outside of your comfort zone.  You may just find a new one.  Oh, and BE GRATEFUL that someone thought to give your sorry A** a gift in the first place!

*Product Review:  Clean Kids Naturally Banana Smoothie Detangler

Well, in the interest of thinking outside the box (hee hee ... pun), ever wonder why we just assume that children's products should never be used on adults?  I mean, we all know that you shouldn't put just anything on tender young baby flesh, but if it's safe enough for kids, why wouldn't we wanna use it on ourselves?  It hit me one day, as I was conditioning my 2-year-old's curly top, that I could totally use the things I love for her on myself as well.  I was in the midst of a conditioner quest and realized that, not only are her products generally healthier, more easily available, and less expensive than mine, they might be just as effective (if not more so).  Now, originally we were using the TruKid Cool Conditioner (from Drugstore.com), but they stopped carrying it for awhile and I found the Clean Kids Naturally at out local Whole Foods, for $8.99/8oz.  They both cost about the same, but I like the fact that I can just pick up the Clean Kids at the store and avoid the whole shipping thing.  They both are also great products.  They detangle my daughter's coily crown better than any other potions we've tried (like the California Baby and Nature's Baby Organic).  Those pesky snags just seem to melt away.  Both smell good (although I prefer the citrusy scent of the TruKid to the banana of the Clean Kids).  Additionally, they are both "natural" products, though is seems like the Clean Kids actually has better ingredients.  I dunno.  And they both seem to work on my crazy do as well.  Gotta love dual purpose products.  I also love that you can leave them in or rinse them out.  You can't go wrong with either, but for the slip factor, easy accessibility, and great ingredients, I give the Clean Kids Naturally Banana Smoothie Detangler ... 4 ½ Stars. 

Banana Smoothie Detangler - 8 oz

TruKid Cool Conditioner - 8.0 oz.

Man, Oh Man

OK, so my friend informed me of the fact that he (not altogether intentionally) stumbled upon my blog, and his testicles nearly shriveled from the girly-girlousness of it all. Truly, this is not a sight set for male eyes.  HOWEVER, in the off chance that any other manly type should haphazardly happen upon this scrawl, I have this to say … WHY?!?  Why would any man bestow upon himself the most pathetically ridiculous of all fashion fads to come across the male appendage:  the UGG boot?  Gentlemen, I don’t care how cool, gay, or metrosexual you think you are … MEN MUST NEVER DO THIS.  Rest assured, if you have a penis, UGG boots are not for you.  Don’t tuck ‘em, don’t cover, don’t pair them with a robe, DON’T WEAR THEM AT ALL!  I implore you.  (Do Australian men wear these, 'cuz ... I mean ... they have sex with women, right?)  In fact, don’t do tall boots at all.  The only man I’ve ever seen pull them off successfully is “The Man with the Yellow Hat” (and he’s a preschool cartoon character, parent to a mischievous-yet-intellectual monkey, named George).  For God’s sake, they don’t even work on all women!  I look like a fat-footed freak in them. (Though, I must say, they do look cute on many other girlies.)  We all should be cautious of being a slave to fashion.  If the current trend happens to flatter your physique (or gender), I say, “Go for it with gusto!”  On the other hand, if skinny jeans have you lookin' like a parsnip, or leggings on YOUR thighs challenge the integrity of the whole concept of spandex as we know it, for heaven’s sake … avoid and wait for the next craze to materialize.  In short, please respect what your body will and won’t do, and have mercy upon all those who must endure the exhibition.  I thank you.

*Product Review:  Forever 21 Cozy Sweater Cardigan

Fine, I admit it.  I braved the teenage wasteland known as Forever 21 and acquired this cardigan for $29.80.  (Shut up, don’t judge me.)  It was scary, it hurt a little, the blaring foreign-to-my-ear pop music intimidated the crap out of me, but I went in.  Alright, alright, I love the freakin’ thing!  I get compliments every time I wear it, and it makes me warm, “cozy”, and happy.  (It has absolutely no capacity to breathe, so you’ll stink to high heaven if you don’t slap on the antiperspirant thick, but whatever.)  So there, I’ve said it.  I did it, I bought it, and I’ll never speak of it again.  Furthermore, I shall repeat what I’ve mentioned before:  I am no fashion maven.  This is the last style recommendation you’ll get from me.  In this arena, I can offer no real guidance.  I am merely here to judge, criticize, and laugh at you when you’ve gone wrong.  I may be an authority in some areas, but alas, vogue is not one of them.  Oh, and for any errant, stray, wandering man reading this … Oh how I wish there was a NY & Company for you.  That is all.  For the embarrassingly awesome sweater … 4 Stars.

PS - OK, this man (demonstrating the UGG boot) made me pee.  Though he is charmingly funny, it should be noted that he has only slightly more sex appeal than that of the typical UGG-wearing man.  And notice that we never actually see his face WHILE wearing the boot.  For his own protection?  Hmm, I wonder.  Nuff said.  (Gosh, I wish I had an opinion about things.)