Lie to Me

Why don’t we let people tell the truth about themselves?  I was watching HSN (of course) the other day when a guest made a comment that she has “cankles”.  She was selling boots and meant this as a demonstration of the fact that her boots are generously sized in the leg, or she wouldn’t be able to wear them.  Of course, the host jumped on this right away saying, “Noooo, you’re beautiful!” -- or some crap like that -- to which the guest had to reply, “No, no, I know I have a nice [this] and [that], but my legs are quite big”.  Now, did we really need to go through all that?  The woman quite obviously had colossal appendages.  Was the blatant, bold-faced, attempt at dishonesty really necessary?  I mean, the woman wasn’t having a crisis of self-esteem here, she was merely using a totally honest assessment of her situation to make a valid point.  Is it that we think anyone being honest about their weaknesses is fishing for a compliment?  Are we uncomfortable with the truth, so much so that we must quickly cover it up with duplicity?  Perhaps a better response would have been, “Wow, really?  Oh. Well, I guess it’s a good thing you’re pretty then.”  (Leaving out the, “JESUS!  You’re right, Lady!  What the hell?!?”)  I guess this struck me so strongly because it happens to me, constantly, and it drives me insane.  Believe me, I am well aware of my strengths and attributes, but that doesn’t leave me blind to my imperfections, either.  Nor should it.  I think it’s important to be realistic.  Why must every truthful observation be followed by a bumbling, half-hearted exercise in unnecessary self-esteem bolstering?  Can we all be a little too harsh when judging ourselves?  Sure … sometimes.  So, if someone says something about themselves that I don’t find to be true, I’ll say so.  HOWEVER, sometimes, they really do have small ears, big stinky feet, and boobs that sweep the floor of every room they enter.  If it’s OK to acknowledge your strong-points, hell, why not give those friendly flaws a “shout out” once in a while, too?  That’s all I’m saying.

*Product Review:  Drugstore Mascara

Well since I’ve, no doubt, already offended many of you with my obnoxious straightforwardness, you won’t be that shocked when I say:  You are being absolutely narrow-minded and idiotic if you pay more that $10 for mascara.  As I wandered about the CVS the other day, I realized just how many brands of incredible, sexifying, inexpensive mascaras there are. You know I’m partial to my L’Oreal Bare Naturale Mascara, but there are some other versions and brands (like CoverGirl) that sell some pretty kick-butt ones too.  If you are paying upwards of $20 for swanky department store mascaras,  WHY??? I defy you to find one that works better than one you can find at your local penny mart.  Seriously, step into the light, ladies.  Unlike with your favorite piece of costume jewelry or faux-designer jeans, it’s not like anyone’s gonna know that you’re not wearing Dior on your fancy fringes.  I mean, come on, who has THAT skill?  So don’t let the cosmetic giants rip you off anymore.  Save your hoity-toity-ness for Versace and Coach.  There is no reason to be elitist about eyelash goop.  Trust me.  I would tell you.  For my brilliance … 5 Stars.