I'll Cut You, B****!

Never trust another woman’s opinion on clearance merchandise.  If she’s even remotely your size or sensibility, she’s a liar.  “Hoops or dangles?”, I asked of the sweet, unassuming gal perusing the clearance jewelry next to me.  “Ohhh … definitely dangles.  I haves a pair like those and they’re great.”  Unsure, but persuaded, I placed the hoops back and headed for the register.  Halfway there I had my doubts, though, and went back to reclaim my hoops.  …Where were they?  How could they be gone in 2 minutes time?  I mean … wait … there’s that gal again.  And what’s in her hot little hands?!  MY HOOPS!  …Back-stabbin’ hootchie.  Dangles my ass.  And now, as nice as the dangles are, I can’t even appreciate them.  They stand as sparkly little reminders of how I was duped, swindled, done wrong.  How could such a normal, kind-looking individual rob a total stranger of her clearance joy?  Oh, I know … WOMEN LIE!  When you least expect it, Lady.  When you least expect it.

*Product Review:  Almay Amazing Lasting 16 Hour Eye Pencil

Alright, enough fighting over clearance items, already.  When I can pick up an everyday staple at an everyday low price, that's sooo much better that fisticuffs in the penny-pincher's pile.  Let's speak simply ... everyone, at some point, needs an eyeliner.  Yes, it is true. For major drama black is nice, but for everyday beauty … brown is all you need.  With all the expensive, swanky, options out there, all you really need to do is march your little booty down to the nearest drugstore and pick yourself up an Almay eye pencil.  Their Black Brown color is versatile enough to take you from ordinary day to night-on-the-town.  It works on virtually everyone and costs a measly $6.50 or so.  (Less if you have a coupon, my friends.)  It goes on easily, is water-resistant, you never have to sharpen it -- my eyeball’s a freakin’ magnet for pencil shavings -- and it stays put all day.  The only downside is that you have exactly 2.5 seconds to correct any screw-ups before it sets forever and a day.  Once you get the hang of it, though, you’ll really appreciate the longevity and intensity of pigment.  Honestly, where you can cut the complications and save a few bucks, why not?  Enough said … 4½ Stars.

Almay Eyeliner with Built In Sharpener, Black Brown 206, 0.01-Ounce Packages (Pack of 2)