Welcome to the ultimate beauty-hoarder’s blog of product reviews and random nonsense. Please leave your sanity at the door and join me on my journey of self-discovery through overindulgence. I thank you.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

You Don't LOOK Sick

If I only had a nickel for every time someone's told me that.  I once had a hospital stay for some crazy killer stomach virus thingy, and the doctor actually wrote on my chart, "Patient was able to apply eyeliner, so it's clearly not that serious."  I mean, what?  Just because I don't totally succumb to the dreary effects of my malady means I'm not legitimately ill?  Yeah, I stood there in front of my bathroom mirror (weak, trembling, and periodically vomiting) and powered through 'til I looked like a cracked-out drag queen hooker, but by golly ... I had my face on!  I refuse to give in completely to any illness.  If I can still raise my hand to my eye, G** dammit, I'm gonna line it!  I don't care if it means that doctors don't take me seriously and loved ones show no sympathy.  Why should I submit to looking as bad as I feel?  Strep throat, hemorrhage, pancreatitis, or surgery beware:  you may take my spirit but you can't have my vanity!  ... Childbirth, however ... ah, hell!  You win.

*Product Review:   Albolene Moisturizing Cleanser

Well, despite my effort, my best displays of make-up application aptitude do not come when I am sick.  I quite often end up looking like an overdone Tammy Faye.  That's where this product comes in.  This puppy will remove whatever the heck you can throw at it.  Nothing can stand up to it.  It's heavy, greasy, slimy, thick, and ... powerful.  It's basically glorified Vaseline.  I'm talkin' old school.  It's the stuff your grandma swore by.  You can find it amongst all the other overlooked products on the bottom shelf of any drugstore skincare aisle.  It comes in a massive 12 oz. no frills jar, and will run you around $11.  If you have waterproof mascaras, lip stain, or cheek paint that won't budge, slap some of this salve on you face and POOF!  It's history.  Now, this is not for everyday usage, it's a bit much for that.  And if you have very oily or acneic skin, you probably won't like it.  But, on those occasions when you're looking to undo your indelible facade ... Albolene's your best friend ... 4 Stars.

Albolene Cleansing Concentrate Albolene Moisturizing Cleanser, Unscented 12 oz (340 g)
Posted by Jennifer Shelton at 10:53 PM

2 comments:

  1. AnonymousNovember 17, 2010 at 2:32 PM

    Thank you, Jennifer. You always make me smile with your humor. I wish I knew about the Abolene a few days ago. Don't ask me how, but I got a black eye. No violence involved. Anyway, I bought some cheap cover up and slapped that on. When I got a good look at my 3 shades lighter face (bruise still visible) I tried frantically to get it off. After soaps, lotions and rubbing alcohol (ouch) I finally tried olive oil. It worked.

    But so this never happens again, what is a good concealer for under the eyes that doesn't cost too much?

    Don't worry, I'll buy the Abolene first.

    Sarah

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jennifer SheltonNovember 17, 2010 at 10:21 PM

    Why, thank you. I must say, I'm no expert on concealers, but I do like the Sheer Cover one. It comes with 2 shades in one compact, so you can mix and blend. To be fair, I don't really use it on dark circles, but it work well for covering up blemishes and marks. A fellow blogger of mine has some great suggestions on her site. Here's the link ...

    http://pammyblogsbeauty.blogspot.com/2010/10/covering-dark-under-eye-circles-my-top.html

    Good Luck!
    Jennifer

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